ANNARCHY - Latest Comments in Evergreen Christmas

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Pat — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 20:01:05 -0000

I am Ann's oldest sister. Before Ann was born, we always had a live tree, and it sat in the living room not in the basement. For some reason, we put the tree up on Christmas Eve. We also for religious reasons took the tree down on Jan. 6th. Feast of the Epiphany. I have some of those ornaments, The fragile glass ones, I set out in a carnival glass bowl that was our mothers. I also have the styrofoam boots, and tree with beads that our Mom made. My granddaughter and her friend decorate out tree now, every year, I can tell them the stories of our antique ornaments.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Jerry Densmore — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 10:09:16 -0000

Just beautiful is all I can say. My past Christmases were so lacking of the love you speak of that today
I dread this time of year. Thanks for cheering me up. Jerry

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Jen DelMonaco — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 21:18:09 -0000

Dammit, Ann, thanks for the yule log in my throat-- I'm all weepy. I'm grateful I haven't taken the tree down yet-- I will note again what I can't put into words in the moment and you SAY EXACTLY what I feel! Again! A tree is mingling of the living and the dead. It's a living history of your lives as a family.

I do have my favorite ornament from my family home in Omaha up there, near the top where no one can break it. It was sold at the Philips 66 station across from church and we would get them after mass. It was a styrofoam ball with silky threads clinging to it, making it seem satiny and smooth. My and my sister's and mom's job was to stick the ball with sequined pins and ribbons. Total 70's Christmas glamour. I see that one and I get misty every year. Every week they would have a new style and we would clamor to get the new kit. Now if I could just see that Norelco ad on a black and white of Santa Claus sledding through a pine-treed hill....

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Chris Bellezza — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:18:55 -0000

Losing our family's beloved pony in the weeks before Christmas cast a shadow of sorrow on this year's holiday preparations. Instead of cutting a tree, we procrastinated and finally bought one off a lot just a few days before Christmas. It was a small tree, one that wouldn't require as much effort to get in the house and to decorate as some of the more impressive trees we've had in years past. The decorated tree, twinkling in the family room, brought some cheer back to the house and soon after, the house was filled with boisterous relatives, brightening our moods even more. And on the tree, new this year...a beautiful white pony which looks so much like our pony that it takes my breath away and brings tears to my eyes. Next year though, when we unpack that ornament, I know we'll smile as we recall the many happy memories we have of that mischievous but sweet boy.

Thanks Ann, for yet another beautiful and thought provoking story, and thanks to all for posting your thoughts too. Happy New Year!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Bethann — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 19:58:14 -0000

For various reasons we couldn't get the energy or "cheer" up to carry on the tradition of our family adventure to purchase a real tree. So, we settled for a 4 ft. pre-lit artificial one. On it we hung one ornament, our newest, one we found on vacation in Aruba. Every year we always try to add a new ornament, something with meaning, a memory. Last year it was a bright red high-heel ornament- in memory of my mom. Maybe next year the tradition will come back. We'll buy the real tree and unpack the memories.
Happy New Year!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Marnie — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 11:14:13 -0000

Evergreen Christmas brought me to the misty edge of welling...sense some strong similiarities in our histories...however "imperfect or ordinary our ornaments" as you so aptly depicted, they represent the substance of our lives which is both "ordinary" and "extraordinary" ...live is pretty amazing...I'm contacting my brother, Rob, to see if he has any old family ornaments...after the demise of my parents, I separated the photos for distribution...if the ornaments escaped the trash bin, he would have been the one that rescued them...one X'mas he surprised me, my sister and brother with framed drawings from mom...I've got to stop now...I'm starting to "well" again...thanks for your amazing gift of letting us see the magic in life...Happy New Year!!!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Jenn Calling Home — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 01:11:31 -0000

My 18-year-old commented to some friends that we hadn't had a real tree since she was four. I guess the guilt factor was at work, since we broke down and paid for a real tree this year; left the sad, dusty fake one in its box in the basement. I love how the pine scent hits me as soon as I walk in the door. It is so worth it!

When my siblings and I were younger, we had St. Nicholas day. Stockings were filled and left by our bedroom doors on the 6th of Dec. This is probably the result of my mom's German heritage. Back then we lived in Florida and my Dad would "flock" the tree with this white spray stuff, meant to look like snow. I guess we were hoping for a white Christmas.

Anyway, I loved your heartfelt story and hope you don't mind me stopping by.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Maral Habeshian — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 17:07:00 -0000

I'm misty eyed Annie and reviewing the possibility of abandoning my tree-Nazi tendencies after reading this.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Katrina Hollmann — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 15:30:18 -0000

Ann, I have to say that I'm glad I turned off all Twitter, blogs and the like for the holidays. Had I actually read this before or on Christmas I might have been a basket-case for days.

Christmas has always been hard for me as I'm usually not able to be with family. Decorating the tree and church services at this time of year often leave me with a strange mix of emotions. This was also the first year I put up a tree since my divorce two years ago and it was sad going through ornaments that used to mean something and now are just memories of something unfulfilled. What was left was a theme tree - a theme of colors and not much else. Our tree growing up was always so much more and, while not my personal style as an adult, carries so much more weight now that I understand that the stories behind all of the ornaments mean far more than the aesthetic appeal. My goal going forward is to create a tree that has those stories and that history,....tears while decorating be damned!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Tim Jackson — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 01:16:56 -0000

I sometimes debate leaving a comment here or not on your posts. Sometimes I feel more like sending an email so I can blather on and on- trying to mix in my usual smart ass humor with the sincerest feelings. More than once your words have struck a deep and resonant chord in me. We've joked about it before, so you know pretty much how I feel about what you do here with this space. It is special. It is wonderful. It is very you.

This year, our tree was drawn on a piece of paper from my daughter's big roll of paper from the easel she no longer has. She covered the entire coffee table with it, so it's close to 3 feet tall. She drew the tree and then taped on the ornaments that she made in class. We looked for a small fake tree this year, but never found one. Our apartment is crammed too full of crap for a real or large fake tree. Single dad life apparently comes with more large crap than I really should have here. Who knew?

Admittedly, I've not been in the most spirited of Christmas moods the past two years. The divorce really sucked that out of me- hopefully only for now. The idea of getting a real tree and then finding or buying ornaments and lights just made me feel ill this year. Last year, she drew a tree to go with the tiny little potted tree we bought a few days before Christmas. It was actually something like Italian Rosemary, or something like that. It died a couple days after Christmas when she was on vacation in Cancun with her brother, mother and "mommy's friend Chris". Somehow I neglected to water it while she was gone.

I have short memories of many different Christmas traditions involving ornaments of all types. I can remember making ornaments with my mother- the Queen of Craft. I even remember learning how to do cross stitch so I could make ornaments with her. After my folks divorced, we still got a real tree and we still put out the ornaments, but I got the job of putting the angel on the top (because I'm tall) and stringing the lights around the tree. My sister and I helped mom with the ornaments and the stories of many of the ornaments would be told. It was always a nice little night. Not a big production at all, but fun.

My first marriage resulted in a few good trees and the creation of what I thought would be lifelong traditions. I was wrong of course. But at least I drug my few family ornaments out and placed them on the tree. They followed me into my second marriage and managed to make it onto a few great real trees before ending up on plastic trees- including one particularly ridiculous one from IKEA that looked like an anemic version of the sad little tree from the Charlie Brown special.

After the second divorce, I have no idea where the Christmas ornaments are now and I admit that it doesn't hurt too much, for now. I vaguely recall an "I found a box with some of your ornaments in it" either mentioned on the phone or sent in a text message. I think. After reading your story, I'd kinda like to get them back to preserve those poignant memories of grandparents that have been long dead and marriages buried by time and new memories. I'd like to preserve a little something for my daughter. Something that we can eventually call our own tradition- other than trees drawn on craft paper with crayons and taped to a wall.

I have my few bits of memories of what Christmas was, when it meant more to me. Before the crushing defeats of life lived under the rule of emotion and not logic. The dreams of a dreamer break painfully. But now I want to find something for her to remember when she sits crosslegged on the floor sorting through our life. I owe her that much for Christmas, since the toys will break or be lost and the clothes will be outgrown.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Daria Steigman — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 14:49:27 -0000

Hi Ann,

Once again, your storytelling evokes powerful memories. Your post reminds me of a lot of good times. The ornaments for my family are snippets of language (pots and pans) and music (Godspell's Day by Day), a private code unlocking lots of laughter.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Maura Welch — Sun, 28 Dec 2008 09:48:55 -0000

Among other treasured ornaments, my tree holds:
- a painted gourd from a trip to Costa Rica
- a ribbon from my wedding bouquet
- a birdhouse painted abstractly by my then 4 year old son
- my husband's grandmother's Santa shaped bell
- the cuckoo clock ornament my brother Ian gave me 29 years ago
- my grandmother's blown glass birds that clip to the branches with little pinchers
- an altar boy ornament that my mother used to hang on her tree as a child
- a number of handmade ornaments inscribed by my kids "Mom" and "Dad"

When we hang our ornaments, we share stories and laughs about them and about the people and places and experiences they represent. It's one of my favorite parts of Christmas.

I agree Ann, the tree forms the heart of a Christmas house - it's like a living family art project.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Zil — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 22:35:16 -0000

A few hours ago I returned from 6 days of visiting and travelling to see the distant family for the Christmas holidays, the first Christmas since my husband's Mom died. Feeling road weary after the 10 hour drive and all in all drained, I still decided to read Evergreen knowing the risk I took regarding emotions so close to the surface. As usual Ann, your writing was so wonderful and personal and always seems to get me thinking and reflecting.

Growing up an only child with a single mom, I had few traditions (and little stability :-) But I could never forget the gigantic white fake Christmas tree my paternal grandparents put up each year. It was so formal and staid, just like they were - not a bit of warmth... in a Christmas tree at that!

So now, in our home we get a live Christmas tree each year from the same local fund raiser location. And while my small family is not as enthusiastic as I am about the decorating I know they enjoy our tree full of eclectic ornaments that are a mish mash of home made and store bought that have been more or less consistent for the last 4-5 years.

After a day on the road and feeling a little seasick (from the car) the first thing I did tonight when we walked in the house and put down our bags was turn on the christmas tree lights... I knew then I was finally home - in my home, the way I want it to be. I can only hope my duaghter will warmly remember our holiday traditions and rituals and will one day ask for some of the ornaments for her own tree. Happy Holidays to all!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Ann Handley — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 19:45:04 -0000

What I love most about all the comments here was the honesty. A belated thank you, everyone.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

GiGi — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 14:42:29 -0000

Ann,
Nice post about Christmas past and Christmas present! I do find that the holidays remind us of where we've been in our family and life and having kids reminds us to keep and create traditions. My kids were excited when my mom gave us a lot of her old decorations last year. The Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus made out of Reader's Digest magazines were a bit spent to say the least, but my kids loved them! I also think you realize how much your parents did their best with all the traditions, fun, and yes, stress of the holidays when you're the one making Santa's magic! Merry Christmas!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Julie Roads — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 14:31:15 -0000

That was really beautiful, Ann. Thanks so much for sharing it.

Our tree has really just been making me laugh. It's a total mishmosh of my childhood and patti's, or our young adulthoods and now our parenthood together. Thankfully, we weren't too attached to anything because our toddlers believe that our tree is a just another house for their toys. They systematically take ornaments down, play with them, break them, forget about them and on and on.

It's topped by a borrowed, GAUDY angel from our neighbors that is just too terrible for words - next year, a tree topper that matches our family is first on our list.

This was the first year that my kids 'got' Xmas. It has been more precious than I thought possible...and more fun.

Happy holidays to you...Julie

Re: Evergreen Christmas

C.B. Whittemore — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 21:08:12 -0000

You've captured Christmas with 'Evergreen.' I had never thought of it that exact same way, but you're right. My tree is a similar collection of stories... Thank you, Ann. Merry Christmas.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Scott Hepburn — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 18:14:28 -0000

Jeepers, Ann...like I wasn't teary-eyed enough thinking about home! Funny, isn't it, how the chipped porcelain and mismatched ornaments stir in us a nostalgia for our own chipped and mismatched families.

Hope you and your family had a wonderful, memorable Christmas. Cheers, my friend.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Julie — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 17:47:21 -0000

Ann, I love the random ornaments, beloved pacifier, house keys. I like Christmas because I get a chance to make traditions with my little family. My son now insists that I go all out in decorating and always lights my smelly candles -- he loves it and that makes me happy. My husband and I married in 1990 and each year he has given me an ornament. Those are the ones that the kids look forward to putting on the tree so I'm probably setting them up for a brawl in the future -- YES!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Chel Wolverton — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 13:45:15 -0000

Ann you did it again. You get me all weepy or thoughtful when writing.

I think B.L. said it best, the rituals are the loviest of memories because the people we make them with often can't stay with us. It's what makes those memories precious.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Katybeth — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 12:32:55 -0000

Merry Christmas! A few of my favorite tree ornaments.. my son's tiny moccasin, one of those kneeling elves that was past down and down, one ornament for all our pups past and present, and a painted pine cone from our son's early childhood teacher--with a little note that said..See I was right he IS FINE!

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Paul Chaney — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 08:44:37 -0000

I read this on Christmas eve via my iPhone, but, thanks to some rituals we were observing in our own family, was not anywhere near a computer (the fixed, desktop or laptop variety that is) until this morning.

I swear I think you write these tomes with the full intent of bringing tears to my eyes. If not, it's a side benefit, because you did yet again Ann.

I'm getting to where I look forward to your posts as much as my morning cup of coffee and click the link in the email each time it comes with mixed emotions, an emotional cocktail if you would, a double shot of excitement blended with another of anxiety. Why? Because I know your post is likely to touch some deep emotional chord and bring back memories, though more often than not fond ones, not always.

This one did yet again.

At the risk of being too transparent, let me add the short version of my own Christmases past.

At least from the time my children were born in the 1980s, my family was well onto creating our own traditions and rituals. That is, until November 2004. That's when my wife and I separated.

My sons, who were at the time 22 and 19, each took it differently. And though I believe it drove a dagger deep into both their hearts, the youngest seem to take it hardest. Needless to say, the first Christmas after was one none of us want to remember.

That was four years ago and the holidays are still difficult. If I let myself think of what could have been, what should have been, I'd approach the them with deep melancholy and regret. There are days I still do.

Now, I'm remarried and my wife, Amie, has done her best to take my sons into her heart and I'm happy to say we are on our way to creating a new set of traditions.

Someone once told me, "You have to feel it to heal it." Reading this precious post has caused a measure of both to happen, and for that I thank you.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Scott Monty — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 00:25:40 -0000

As usual Ann, the combination of your memory and your exceptional writing ability has resulted in a lovely gift for the rest of us this holiday season.

I think that no matter the family, we've all got our quirky decorations, ornaments and traditions. And even if they don't match up with anyone else's, we cherish them for the very reason that they're ours - precious and unique experiences and trinkets that are linked to our past. And by continuing those traditions, those of us with children hope to make that past part of our families' future, for generations to come.

Thank you Ann, for all of your talents that you share with us throughout the year and for this post. And just to show you that I'm not all maudlin about this, I'll try to leave you with a smile on your face.

"O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree
Fresh-made from the factory..."

Re: Evergreen Christmas

David Reich — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 11:50:48 -0000

I can relate to this beautiful story, even though I'm Jewish and we've never celebrated Christmas. But the idea of family traditions -- some with known and many with unknown origins -- is universal.

When our kids were young, we used to help our downstairs neighbors decorate their tree. I was a master at tinsel. I hated trying to untangle the string of lights.

We've borrowed one piece of Christmas tradition -- we have Chanukah stockings for the kids and dogs hanging from the fireplace.

Since Christmas and Chanukah coincide this year, my holiday dinner will include oine of my favorites -- potato latkes. If you've never had them, find a Jewish mom to make some for you. They're the best.

Re: Evergreen Christmas

Christian Gulliksen — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 03:33:23 -0000

Fantastic vignettes, Ann.

Our Christmas trees (and by that I mean my parents' trees) have always been more design-oriented than sentimental. Sometimes they're almost baroque; sometimes they're minimalist, limited to small white lights and golden orbs. I just returned from their house -- we celebrate on Christmas Eve -- and I honestly couldn't tell you what the tree looked like, except that it was nice.

I've never had my own tree, although I wouldn't object if one were to appear magically in the corner.