ANNARCHY - Latest Comments in Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Marti Hitchings — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:33:38 -0000

Too funny! You are a scream, Ann!

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Michelle — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:22:35 -0000

This is my first visit to your blog...and so not my last!
I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. My own Entitled Teen Boy LLC must be having meetings with your CEO! They sound like they are being run on the same business and marketing plan!
Best wishes,
Michelle

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Maura Welch — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:10:09 -0000

Ann, I have not had that hardy of a laugh over a blog post in a long time. A masterpiece! Being the mom of two teen boy LLCs myself, I personally can attest to the truth of each and every syllable.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Linda Chadbourne — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 09:29:38 -0000

I have two LLC's in my home. One female LLC (14 years in the making) and one male LLC (16 years in the making). I must say the male LLC runs much more smoothly. The female LLC is a much more volatile.
GREAT Post!

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Gavin Heaton — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 01:09:34 -0000

Chapter 11 is looking better all the time ;)

There is so much to look forward to!

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Linda S — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:58:52 -0000

Oh, my gosh! Great post. You hit the nail on the head with this one!

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Michelle Lamar — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:28:14 -0000

*CRYING. LAUGHING SO HARD* Ann this is so right on that it's scary. My favorite part of the post was the "PS". I have a 14 year old girl. Must tweet this, stumble it as it's a must read. Thanks for making me laugh today as I needed it:)

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Gary Cohen — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:45:41 -0000

I recognize and see early signs of this insurrection beginning coddled sons/easy sisters startup. As the VC, it may impact the second round funding criteria.

Hilarious.
Gary

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Vicky H — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:12:35 -0000

Amazing article Ann. I'm laughing so hard...

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Julie — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 11:59:26 -0000

Ann, I too am part owner in a Coddled Son LLC/Easy Sister Enterprises joint venture. Both company CEOs ride in same Parent Company car. If Coddled Son is not ready, natural consequences follow -- walk the one mile to offsite center or if this causes such a hardship that Coddled Son misses all-day conference, then all assets of Coddled Son are put into Parent Company conservatership and reallocated when Coddled Son personal stock rises. This is an effective strategy for Brand Growth of Coddled Boy. He now wakes up at 6:30, showers and cocoons in still warm blanket on couch until company car departs. Sister Subsidiary reminds to take lunch money and removal of new tags still hanging on Coddled clothing. He is also CEO of Mommy-rubs-my-tummy-to-make-it-all-better company, but this is off-shore with hidden assets. Ann, this made me laugh so hard, love the T-shirt. Coddled needs one that says, "It was an accident"

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Susan Solomon — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 00:36:00 -0000

Note from Aremenian Outpost of Coddled (which is actually distributed via Moscow so presents packaging in three languages as “Coddledsky! Nyet Independentsky!;” “Cuttulled, Inc.” (bad Engliish phonetics); and something in a language that looks like spaghetti-on-wall)…

To accommodate for Armenian cultural oddities, Coddled will also assign the following duties for its Hyustan Operations:

Manager of Road Crossing – We have yet to find the person brave enough for this position. Therefore, since this task is too dangerous for exotic flowers of American youth, all Coddled staff will remain on lefthand side of street for the duration.

Director of iPod Downloading – Please note that since wireless Internet is a precious $300 per month and all downloads and uploads are separately charged, this operation must be performed at night, away from the watchful eye of parents. This is a position requiring sensitivity to the “right” kind of music; anyone caught downloading Jonas Bros. music (note to sister) will be instantly dismissed.

Senior Coordinator of Throwing Laundry on Floor – This position is very similar to the one in the U.S.; however, it tends to piss mother off even more because the washing machine is the size of a blender and the only dryer available is Mr. Golden Sun.

Armenian Outpost of Coddled is scheduled to cease operations in late December, when we are moving our plant back to Long Beach, CA and will resume regular-American-whining capabilities.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Denise Shiffman — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:44:42 -0000

Ann,
So bloody accurate, I almost fell off my chair laughing.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Kaza — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:27:04 -0000

Just came over from Chris Brogan's tweet about this post. (And I completely agree with him.) Awesome post. Disheartening though, as my one child (thus far) is only 3.5 yrs old. It seems this whole "high maintenance" thing just never ends, no? Shit.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Mark Cahill — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 17:00:55 -0000

@alan As is the trend with prospective employers and merger partners, both parties now must do their due diligence via the web.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Yvonne DiVita — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:38:21 -0000

Ann, what delight! And such realism! One of my clients answered such behavior with this - he sat his twins down at the age of 12 and said, "You're of an age now where you can start making your own decisions. Therefore, if you feel you can find better parents than the ones you've got, by all means, do so. Let us know who they are and we will begin adoption proceedings immediately. Otherwise, the one's you have are operating a Dictatorship, by which you will abide."

Or something similar...at any rate - I like the dictatorship approach. My kids were allowed to make their unhappiness known, but...if it was whining or an unreasonable request, the answer was, "Conversation over." Which meant, Mom said shut up.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Ann Handley — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:57:47 -0000

Note to @sonnygill @amyblack @christian @beth and all of those still functioning as Sole Proprietors or Partners: There is still time for you to save yourselves. Walk away from the light...

And I really like your suggestion here @alan... payback will indeed be sweet.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Alan Wolk — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:23:25 -0000

I hope you are planning to save this and show it to potential merger partners when the enterprise is more mature and looking to set up a permanent partnership agreement. (It sure beats baby pictures!)

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Bdot — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 11:00:39 -0000

Ann,
Is the "Minister of Wiping My Ass" position still open? Depending on the compensation package,
I would like to toss my bat into the ring.
My resume is extensive; I have several years working with animals, and am currently employed by a major international corporation as an EOBB (equal opportunity ball-buster).

Do you have a dental plan?

Bdot

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Tom Collins — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 10:48:58 -0000

Hmmmm ... maybe the newly appointed in-house directors should consider setting up an off-shore service company with English-as-a-second-language staff and then out-source most of their functions to THAT subsidiary!

Let's see what the CEO does when he calls for customer support then.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Amy Black — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 10:29:50 -0000

Thanks, Ann, for reminding me why after 10 years of marriage I still don't have children. Dogs are so much easier. : )

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Karin — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 08:55:03 -0000

Hilarious! I am no where near this stage of business yet. We are still in the acquisition phase.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Jack Kuperman — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:47:12 -0000

Interesting, that just a week ago I've writen smth on the subject too "How to deal with a teenager." http://quantrol.us/blog/?p=50 .

But when I began to compare, I stopped very quickly.

No comparison at all.

Yours is shining with ingenious sparkles.

Please write more often.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Christian Gulliksen — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:31:46 -0000

This reminds me of a little subsidiary my sister ran when we were teenagers -- the Wild Child Carnival. It was a very lucrative operation since the parent company (erroneously) believed that increased funding would create a culture of responsibility.

It didn't matter that my Genial Underachiever division delivered far more consistent, and reasonably respectable, results. Her junior year contract renewal granted her, among other inexplicable perks, a much cooler company car than was offered to Genial Underachiever. Which is when I realized what a lame business model I had. To compete with Wild Child, I attempted a start-up called Squeaky Wheel, but it failed almost immediately. Just didn't have the passion to see it through, because it turned out that Genial Underachiever was my true brand. Egad.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Tim Jackson — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 23:19:16 -0000

I've said it once and I'm saying it again; Damn you Handley!

To quote that Squeeze song again, "if I didn't love you, I'd hate you..."

Why... no, WHY do you do this to me? Is it not enough that two... TWO... successive ex-wives have crushed my manhood and desire to live, but you just keep kicking me in the gut. Why? WHY? I thought we were friends. Seriously. This hurts. Can you JUST ONCE let me be the better writer for a day or two? I keep making my little word scribbles thinking, "one day I'll beat that damned Handley and then everybody will think that I'M a smart and witty writer too!"

But no.

I sincerely hope you're happy with yourself.

Re: Notice to Staff and Stakeholders: Reorg

Amber Naslund — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 21:54:40 -0000

Thank god I have a girl. Right? Wait...RIGHT??